Maybe it’s not God I’m questioning exactly. Not directly. It’s the things I’ve believed. The things I’ve been told over the years. Beliefs I’ve held as true without really questioning them. I was told that to question signified a lack of faith - I just needed to believe. Trust.
The thing is, when I was 20, I got involved with a fundamental religious group who held very strong beliefs about what the Bible said and did not say. At 20, I didn’t possess the inner authority needed to question. I loved the people, was welcomed in, and felt like I belonged. These things to a 20 yr old are everything. And I did genuinely feel drawn to God, to worship, and to the idea of having a personal relationship with Jesus. This was something I was not raised with.
It wasn’t until years, even decades later, that I began to see and understand how damaging this form of faith was. And still is…
I’d love to hear your experience with beliefs.